Professionalism Is Mostly Made Up

One of the things I find most interesting about workplace culture is how many “professional” behaviors are completely made up.

Not policies. Not ethics. Not actual job requirements.

Just social expectations that slowly became normalized over time.

Sit still in one place.
Do not fidget.
Do not color outside the lines.
Do not wear anything too bright.
Do not sound too excited.
Do not ask too many questions.
Do not make things “weird.”
Do not show too much personality.
Do not look distracted.
Do not rest.
Do not have fun.

A lot of people are spending enormous amounts of energy trying to perform these unwritten rules all day long, especially neurodivergent people.

And then we wonder why everyone is exhausted.

I spend a lot of time talking about playfulness at work, but I think some people assume I mean adding something extra on top of an already overloaded day. More activities. More engagement initiatives. More “fun.”

What I actually mean, most of the time, is removing unnecessary friction.

Sometimes playful work design looks like giving people more autonomy over how they complete tasks. Sometimes it looks like making space for curiosity instead of demanding immediate perfection. Sometimes it looks like allowing movement during meetings, normalizing doodling, encouraging experimentation, or creating enough psychological safety that people stop spending all their energy masking.

Because when people can access more of themselves at work, they also access more creativity, resilience, communication, innovation, and sustainable energy.

This is one of the reasons I push back so hard against the idea that professionalism and playfulness are opposites.

Some of the most effective, thoughtful, innovative professionals I know are deeply playful people. Not because they are constantly entertaining everyone around them, but because they stay connected to curiosity, flexibility, experimentation, humor, imagination, and humanity.

And to be clear, this is not about turning every workplace into a playground.

It is about asking a very practical question:
How much energy are people spending trying to look professional instead of actually doing meaningful work?

This is the answer that can make a difference.

This week, I want you to notice one workplace norm that feels unnecessary, performative, or draining. Not dangerous or unethical. Just… performative.

You might be surprised how many of them we follow automatically without ever questioning whether they actually help anyone.